Subject: Do you really really want to see a brighter day?
Mood: Blank.
Music: Utada Hikaru - Tokyo Nights

I had the weirdest dream last night...I can't remember it properly, the only thing that I really remember is that Prashant and Marc were in it and we were all in jail or something like that...and because we were still in school we had to choose subjects so that tutors could come in and teach us while we were in jail...it was a nice jail though with benches and tables where we could get tutored and a pool (no idea why) and yeah...I just remember Prashant being upset that I didn't give him lots of attention and he was crying and I was holding him and saying sorry and he was rambling on about how I give all the attention to Marc...lol...anyway...that's the bit I most remember about the dream...I wonder what my subconscious must have been thinking for my dreams to conjure up something like that...

Last night was scary..we had Anime night and afterwards (11-11:30 ish) my dad was hungry so he decided to go to Harry's hot dog place thing and I reclined my car chair and he assumed I was gonna go to sleep and he got angry and gave me a hard time saying shit like, do you wanna go home? i'll just eat at home? and I screamed at him that he could eat. Then when we got there..not parking...so he turned into a street which was really deserted and dark..it was scary...so I told him that I didn't want him to park there and he got so pissed off, I could feel it, it was scary...he drove around and he was saying in a really mean voice "find a better parking spot. go on." and "is this street to 'scary' for you?" and he was driving so recklessly cos he was so pissed off...I was so scared..I started crying after he sped up this alley really fast..I could feel the engine shuddering and it was really scary..he was trying to scare me on purpose..and then I started crying and I couldn't stop...and we ended up going home and he didn't eat Harry's..and yeah...

what i'm still trying to figure out is why I cried so much...

i saw the school counseller 3/4 weeks ago and she told me this story of this raft which was going down a river and it picked up all these animals as it went along, really big animals and other small animals and there were so many but the raft still didn't sink, but when the raft stopped to pick up a small mouse..it sunk. What the story meant was that, there are only so many things you can keep inside and hold up on your back and that the smallest thing can set it off...so you can be the raft holding these huge animals and lots of them...but all it takes is a little mouse for you to sink...

maybe this was that mouse?

i don't know...but at least I know I can still cry...my dad is usually the one who can make me cry...I can't really cry about anything else...anyway..how embarassing...I like keeping the image that I never cry and i'm always happy...

oh my god...the day is so beautiful..we're gonna go to ashfield today to some record stores he wants to find some good salsa music and stuff...im happy we're going out..it's such a nice day...and I get the feeling this long weekend is gonna be a REALLY nice weekend but my mom doesn't want me to go out on sunday and monday...if i have to be cooped up at home with her for a nice long weekend...i swear to god i'm gonna chuck the biggest psycho...god...okay...anyway...*deep breath*...

i have nothing else to write about..that was my night...heh...

baii