I wrote this before but never had the chance to put it up... so I'm putting it up now, now being the 26.03...

Even though he acts normal sometimes a slip of the tongue leads me to believe that he still hurts... that he's still angry (which I'm sure he is). But I'm not sure if it's just me taking things more personally than I should in an attempt to punish myself.

It was the little comments that upset me today. They remind me that I hurt him. I don't know if he even realises that he's doing it... I just give him this look and I don't know what he thinks I'm thinking. What I'm thinking is; are you saying this on purpose? Are you saying this to hurt me... to get back at me indirectly?

And I keep remembering what he said about me never knowing what he felt/feels on this topic. He'd never tell me and never bring it up again. So I think for a while I'll be taking things a little personally because in the back of my mind I'll be thinking, has he forgiven me yet? I think once I feel that all those comments lack underlying meanings and accusations and purposeful reminders... I'll believe that he's forgiven me. But again, I'll never know for sure when that will be. I'll just have to trust my gut on this one.