a general update - always a sunday...

i intend to write something... anything... everything today. i have an incredibly dumb amount of half updates because i get distracted easily. it may or may not be the random spacing outs and hundreds of billions of thought processes that i just can't be bothered to do. or maybe this requires a lot of concentrating because i don't want to sound stupid =P. i have to stop way too often to re-read what i've written. also i was just sick of seeing that old update from valentines day. that was ages ago.

for some reason i seem to have stopped posting about me... and my 'dramas' not that i have any... and my reflections and thoughts. i have not written one sentence about what i have been feeling lately. usually this occurs when i'm happy... or think i'm happy because my life has slipped into a bearable routine without anything interesting going on. i'm not making sense. i know it... but i'm trying not to let myself read over what i've written. but i just did. and i almost got distracted then. perseverance. focus.

so what have i been feeling lately? it's hard to tell when half the time i'm happily relaxed and chilled and complacent. i have to stop myself... i may just be numbing myself... maybe. *ahem*

on another note i've been re-reading harry potter along with everybody else. i haven't posted anything as of yet (i can't be bothered and there's just been so many comments to read (and they all pretty much say what i was thinking) and i'm always behind on chapters so...) but i intend to... maybe... at some point. and reading it has been making me feel like writing for some reason... maybe because i spent a lot of time reading about j.k. rowling and how she became a writer and... i just thought that i'd love to do that. i want to write something... really original... really good.

what else? i'm just not letting myself write anything personal in here... and i've just realised i keep writing 'maybe'. (maybe) it's because i'm not so sure of myself or i am sure so i'm afraid that once i write it down.. it'll make it true. or (maybe) i just don't want to commit to any particular statement.

me and josh are good. fallen into a new routine. wow. i just realised that me and josh adapt a lot... make new routines depending on our ever-changing schedules. at the moment we're playing pool regularly... every tuesday it's free at spurs. and we've now incorporated it into our routine. we're pool addicts. he thinks we need to go to rehab.

i'm seeing my friends semi-regularly. hopefully seeing avya tomorrow... at the 'epping fair'. it's like epping got jealous of eastwood's granny smith festival and invented their own. hehe. saw jess and ming last week actually. i've spent more time with ming outside and after school (like.. now) then during school. oh might be seeing chantelle on tuesday! it'll be sort of weird seeing her in a different social situation. i have not spent time like that with her... i have a feeling it'll be fun.

and today was the day andy came back to work.

i have a sudden itch to write in my actual diary. the truth... uh oh.

[Current music: bonnie pink - kingyo]