Subject: So kiss me hard, 'cos this will be the last time that I let you.

The music starts and everyone spills out onto the dancefloor. It's another world. The dimmed lights and passionate music fill me to the brim as I look into the eyes of my partner. It's like five minutes straight of lying. I'm held close and my glances are returned the way I'd like them to be. But then the music ends and we return to reality. It's the world laughing in my face.

As life slows down before my eyes, I breathe a sigh and look to the sky. The dull grey stillness seems to reflect my mood even though I can't quite identify what I'm feeling. Due to recent turns of events and conversations about these turns of events, my identity has slipped further from me. The lines between who I am, who I want to be and who I don't want to be have been blurred. Sharp criticism has made me withdraw and look at myself. Denial? I'm not sure. All I know is, I don't know how to be anything or anyone else. There's no part of me left to hold onto so I can (return to?) be(ing?) what is expected of me at age. I don't think that part of me ever existed. But what is expected of me at this age? I really do believe I would have been this way anyway, minus the experiences on my belt.

Happy 18th Marc! =)