Subject: I hate to show that I've lost control...
Current Mood: Indescribable

I sit here, emotions leaking through the cracks in my shield. I can't face anybody right now, not when I feel so vulnerable and not when I've lost control of my emotions. So I sit here slowly patching the leaks in my emotional barrier.

Subject: But nothing cures the hurt you bring on by yourself...
Current Mood: Depressed

I forced them back. The tears that I'd been trying to cry for days. But walking home, the hot tears fell from my eyes. I sat down and I cried for everything. Everything in my life that was wrong. I cried because at that moment I felt truly alone. I felt disappointment and disgust in myself. I felt guilt and regret. I cried for my wrong doing. I cried for my laziness in school and the consequences of it. I cried for my loss of a relationship that meant so much more than I could admit to myself. I cried for hurting the people that meant so much to me. I cried for bringing it onto myself. I cried because it feels as though nothing could ever be right again. But I deserved everything I got and I felt like I didn't have a right to cry. I guess I cried for that too.

Time will make things right again, but right now, it doesn't feel like that.