Subject: *one fucking big sigh*
Feeling: Scared
Hearing: Korn - Freak On A Leash

Heyyy. I'm tired, stressed, demotivated and everything else that you can think of that's negative. Life is crazy. This is my first official entry, so I'm making it a non-narrative, proper one. Man. I don't really know what to say. I'm scared? Yes. I'm afraid of everything. The future and what it holds mostly. This is why I like looking back on the past. Things that have already happened, safe and known. I like change, but the future is just too incomprehensible at the moment.

Yeah. I can't believe that I actually went through all of the last year and half's entries on my livejournal. I only backlogged the important events that actually made sense. Not the meme's or the ones that were in the moment, describing what I felt.

Reading back on everything is really nostalgic. I remembered when I started smoking. The promises I make every year... the same ones. My past new years. Just... everything. It seems so far away... and it is, but it isn't, if that makes any sense at all.

Anyway... I better get some sleep.

P.S. The music just changed to, Cruisin - Gwyneth Paltrow and that guy... man... what an old song!!!

Subject: Yet another bloody test.
Current Mood: stressed
Current Music: Natalie Imbruglia - Slow Down

Yep... exactly what it says. *die div layers die*

EDIT: Well... I'm relatively happy with what I can do here at blogspot. So with the combination of blogspot and photobucket, I can happily have all the userpics I want as well as a gallery and MY OWN LAYOUT! So, as soon as everything I want up and running, is, up and running, I shall attempt the tedious task of going through all of my old entries on http://www.livejournal.com/~meiyume and then deciding which ones to backlog onto here. Although doing all of this is really... a procrastinatory tool, it's making me happy and right now, it's what I need. Designing this is allowing me to focus on something other than my life at the present. Tweaking the minor things is letting me have control of something. An abstract escape of sorts. I've lost control of majority of the aspects of my life and I hate it. I keep trying to find my footing but something or someone always knocks me back down again. *sigh* I'm really trying.
Anyway, this has become an entry rather than an edit so... I shall say goodbye and save all of this for another time.

Subject: Procrastination. Fun word, fun activity.
Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Aaliyah - Don't Worry

Procrastination. Fun word, fun activity. Especially if you have other things that need to be done. Right at this moment, I'm writing a completely pointless (and procrastinatory) entry to yet another online blog. Well... it's not entirely pointless. It's to test what this is going to look like. I'm still unsure about whether to change to this journal now (I keep thinking LJ... but it's GJ... which sounds lame-AS) simply because, without having to pay, I'm allowed to have more userpics and it actually allows you to upload photos. But I've been with my sweet, loyal and faithful LJ for almost 3 years. I have a lot of stuff in there I'm not willing to move and backdate. So... for now, this is just a test. If I disappear it's because I've gone running back to my good 'ole LJ.

Right now, I'm supposed to be doing various homeworks. But I'm not. Yay for me. Oh and yay for double negatives.

EDIT: This entry sounds a bit strange because it was originally from greatestjournal.com. I have no idea if that makes any sense to you now... but yeah.

The last 24hrs have been abso-fucking-lutely fantastic! Hehe... Booze/Smokes, Lisa and 3 new albums have been added to my collection. I don't think it could get any better than that. =)

Why can't people tell me things straight out?

and...

"Let's not do this..." He whispered into my ear as he pulled me closer.

"Do... what?" I managed to ask, but I was so quiet and shocked that he probably didn't hear me.

Dreams are stupid.